Tag Archives: behavior patterns

Aggression? Not So Much Anymore!

1 Feb
 

Here are some little ideas if you have a child that displays aggressive behavior (see last post)

1. If transitioning from watching TV to taking a bath is difficult try setting a times, provide a warning, have a favorite toy your child can gain only when taking a bath.

2. If going to the grocery store creates problem behaviors try shortening up the trip to a few trips each week limiting the duration of time in the store.  Offer your child a preferred item during this trip.  One mother offered her child a wet wipe. He loved to wipe off the shopping cart as they went through the store.  This provided a fun activity and a distraction.

3. Provide warnings when activities are about to end or the child needs to transition from fun to something less fun – TV to taking a bath.

4. Provide a choice between two activities or items when you must denied the child – No you can not have the candy but I have a piece of gum for you or you can hold my keys.

Help your child transition, or invest in one of these!

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Glaciers & Children Have Something In Common…

22 Feb

THE MELTDOWN

Ice melts from the heat. What melts your child?

Understanding why tantrums happen can help you figure out how to deal with the behavior.

There are usually 4 reasons we engage in certain behaviors:
1. gain a desired item
2. gain desired attention
3. avoid or escape a demand
4. automatic -It feels good or something internal triggers the behavior

Anger and tantrums are contagious and no parent or teacher does their best work when angry.

The first step is to calm down
breathe deeply, model emotional regulation for your child.

Do not try to “fix” a the tantrum situation with rewards.

Offering a child an item will teach him that tantrums are a good behavior for gaining something he wants.

Unless you enjoy tantrum behavior, DO NOT give rewards for tantrums.

This would be reinforcing tantrum behavior and a sure way to see this behavior increase in future occurrence.

TIPS:
1. Avoid talking through a tantrum :
• Usually a child is not listen when upset
• Words will likely add fuel to the fire. (Don’t burn your eyebrows off)
• Silence reminds us to stay calm

KEEP IN MIND:
If the child’s tantrum is to gain attention, you will have reinforced the behavior you want to eliminate!

2. Do not try to “fix” a tantrum causing situation with rewards.
Offering a reward during a tantrum = a sure way to get more tantrums!

Fishing For Appropriate Consequences

12 Feb

Why does one child ask nicely for something he wants while another child will tantrum for something he wants?

CONSEQUENCES

A consequence is what follows a behavior. It is these consequences that will increase or decrease the occurrence of a behavior.

HERE IS AN EXAMPLE:
Johnny wants the Swedish Fish candy that Daddy left on top of the refrigerator. Johnny asks Mommy for “fish” but Mommy is unaware that this candy is on top of the refrigerator. When Johnny is denied the candy he starts to scream and cry. This behavior still does not get Mommy to give him the candy.

Johnny takes it to the next level and begins to slap himself. Mommy provides attention for this behavior because she is concerned. She attempts to comfort Johnny who is now in a full rage. Comfort is not what he wants. He turns and bites his Mom.

Dad hearing the commotion, enters the kitchen and questions why Johnny is upset. Mom states that he wants “fish” but she doesn’t have any candy in the house. It is at this point that Dad takes the “Swedish Fish” down from the refrigerator and offers a handful of candy to Johnny, thankful he is calming down. That’s where the mistake happened!

Weeks later, Mom and Dad question why Johnny seems to tantrum and bite almost every time he wants something.

BEHAVIOR BREAKDOWN:

What happen before the behavior Johnny asks for candy and is denied
The Behavior Johnny tantrums
The Consequence Dad gives Johnny the candy

Tip:

1. When giving a child something he wants, attempt to deliver the item or activity with the occurrence of good behavior versus negative behavior.

2. Do not give into tantrum behavior if you want to prevent it from increase.
What should have happened: Mom and Dad waited for Johnny to calm down. Once calm, they asked Johnny what he wanted and prompted him to request using his words again. The swedish fish candy are now delivered paired with asking and not a tantrum or biting.

Scolded Fish

This fish gets a consequence for his bad behavior!

Nip It In The Bud – Or Be Eaten By The Plant!

6 Feb

How often do you find yourself attending to the “bad” behaviors of your children or students?

It is better to give positive attention to the things our children or students do appropriately, increasing the likelihood that these good and desirable things will increase.

By attending to inappropriate behavior we are far more likely to increase its frequency and intensity

than we are to “nip it in the bud” — We strengthen the very behavior we want to eliminate.

And that behavior will grow to this:

Evil Plant

Evil Plant

Strengthen Good Behavior – Weaken Bad Behavior

31 Jan

Behavior is typically strengthened by attention (positive or negative). Attempt to go out of your way to have positive, pleasant interactions with your child or student – catch them being good!