THE MELTDOWN
Ice melts from the heat. What melts your child?
Understanding why tantrums happen can help you figure out how to deal with the behavior.
There are usually 4 reasons we engage in certain behaviors:
1. gain a desired item
2. gain desired attention
3. avoid or escape a demand
4. automatic -It feels good or something internal triggers the behavior
Anger and tantrums are contagious and no parent or teacher does their best work when angry.
The first step is to calm down –
breathe deeply, model emotional regulation for your child.
Do not try to “fix” a the tantrum situation with rewards.
Offering a child an item will teach him that tantrums are a good behavior for gaining something he wants.
Unless you enjoy tantrum behavior, DO NOT give rewards for tantrums.
This would be reinforcing tantrum behavior and a sure way to see this behavior increase in future occurrence.
TIPS:
1. Avoid talking through a tantrum :
• Usually a child is not listen when upset
• Words will likely add fuel to the fire. (Don’t burn your eyebrows off)
• Silence reminds us to stay calm
KEEP IN MIND:
If the child’s tantrum is to gain attention, you will have reinforced the behavior you want to eliminate!
2. Do not try to “fix” a tantrum causing situation with rewards.
Offering a reward during a tantrum = a sure way to get more tantrums!
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