Aggression? Not So Much Anymore!

 

Here are some little ideas if you have a child that displays aggressive behavior (see last post)

1. If transitioning from watching TV to taking a bath is difficult try setting a times, provide a warning, have a favorite toy your child can gain only when taking a bath.

2. If going to the grocery store creates problem behaviors try shortening up the trip to a few trips each week limiting the duration of time in the store.  Offer your child a preferred item during this trip.  One mother offered her child a wet wipe. He loved to wipe off the shopping cart as they went through the store.  This provided a fun activity and a distraction.

3. Provide warnings when activities are about to end or the child needs to transition from fun to something less fun – TV to taking a bath.

4. Provide a choice between two activities or items when you must denied the child – No you can not have the candy but I have a piece of gum for you or you can hold my keys.

Help your child transition, or invest in one of these!

Biting? Hitting? Pinching? Aggression!

Physical aggression, such as hitting, biting, pinching, and hair pulling, can be common at an age when functional communication is limited. 

These aggressive behaviors can also be exhibited by individuals carrying a diagnosis indicative of impaired functional communication skills such as autism. 

But let’s start with the basics:

Such behaviors may serve a number of different functions for the child such as:

• defending possessions 
• avoiding an undesired activity 
• expressing frustration (especially when they cannot express themselves with words)
• getting attention. 

It is important not to allow the aggressive behaviors to work. 

• Your child bites you because they don’t want to take a bath. Will you let him/her watch TV instead? 

NO! 

Do not allow them to bite and run! Biting will not prevent bath time! Give him/her the bath!! 

TIP:

Try to figure out situations that may trigger aggressive behaviors.  Prevent or make changes in the environment, routine or activity that seems to produce aggressive behaviors.

He needs a bath, no more cartoons!

ie. If you’re in the grocery store, and your child tantrums because you say no to a bag of M&Ms. Do NOT give them the M&Ms. Avoid the candy aisle, avoid the cash registers with candy, and if that doesn’t work, don’t take them to the grocery store!

Attention: The Good & The Bad

Catching kids being bad is easy!  Catching kids being good is much tougher.

Though catching a child being good is where the money is!

Let’s try  changing our focus knowing that our children are motivated by attention.

Attention functioning as reinforcement can increase desired or “good” behavior if more attention is given for the “good” behaviors and less attention is given for the “bad” behaviors.

Tip:

1. Pledge to compliment or acknowledge one desired behavior per half hour

DO NOT comment on the less desired/ “bad” behaviors.

There’s No Use Reasoning With a Rock, or a Toddler!

Spend less time talking and more time acting.

Do not try to reason with a toddler. You’re better off reasoning with a rock.

Can you reason with HIS bad behavior?

To young children, words are just sounds coming from your mouth. They have no real substance to them yet.

If your child is behaving badly…

Actions, such by picking him up and carrying him to another location, provide a clear message.

Yelling from the other side of the room means nothing!

Get up off the couch, stop talking, and start doing!

TRY THESE TIPS:

1. Provide lots of supervision, distractions and re-directions – Minimize your words and maximize your actions.
Quietly take your child by the hand and lead him to where he needs to go.
Show him what he can do instead of what he can’t do.

2. Staying engaged the right way – Some actions may only make matters worse:
– slapping his hand, yelling “no-no,” and engaging in a stare down
ALL =
an invitation for a child to keep their entertaining adult engaged with them.

3. Offer choices – Having choices gives children a sense of power: They have the power to choose one possibility or another.

Try a method and let us know the result.