Tag Archives: bad behavior

Aggression? Not So Much Anymore!

1 Feb
 

Here are some little ideas if you have a child that displays aggressive behavior (see last post)

1. If transitioning from watching TV to taking a bath is difficult try setting a times, provide a warning, have a favorite toy your child can gain only when taking a bath.

2. If going to the grocery store creates problem behaviors try shortening up the trip to a few trips each week limiting the duration of time in the store.  Offer your child a preferred item during this trip.  One mother offered her child a wet wipe. He loved to wipe off the shopping cart as they went through the store.  This provided a fun activity and a distraction.

3. Provide warnings when activities are about to end or the child needs to transition from fun to something less fun – TV to taking a bath.

4. Provide a choice between two activities or items when you must denied the child – No you can not have the candy but I have a piece of gum for you or you can hold my keys.

Help your child transition, or invest in one of these!

Attention: The Good & The Bad

27 Mar

Catching kids being bad is easy!  Catching kids being good is much tougher.

Though catching a child being good is where the money is!

Let’s try  changing our focus knowing that our children are motivated by attention.

Attention functioning as reinforcement can increase desired or “good” behavior if more attention is given for the “good” behaviors and less attention is given for the “bad” behaviors.

Tip:

  1. Pledge to compliment or acknowledge one desired behavior per half hour

DO NOT comment on the less desired/ “bad” behaviors.

Is Santa Claus A Threat?

8 Mar

“The Easter Bunny is watching,” “I’ll have to tell Santa Claus,” or “When your father comes home…”

Santa Claus

He's always watching...

Do you ever find yourself using these strategy to change your child’s behavior?

Threats RARELY work in modifying a child’s behavior.

THREATS: consequences that rarely manifest. Threats are ineffective in controlling a child’s behavior.

Consequences need to be immediate to be effective
Tip:

Stop

Redirect

Reinforce


  1. Stop the threats and deal with the behavior immediately.  You could do this by firmly re-directing the child to an appropriate behavior – “You may sit over here and look at this book.” or “Go play with your toys in the other room.”
  2. When attention is the child’s motivation, you may have to walk away or remove the child from your presence.
  3. Once the child is engaged in appropriate behavior, take the opportunity to praise and provide attention for good behavior.

Terrible Tantrums Triggered by Talking?!

28 Feb

Do you have a child or a student who has tantrums or meltdowns every time they are told, “NO”?

Temper Tantrum Baby

He was told "No"

As parents and teachers of young children, we often over use this dirty two letter word.

The “No-No Tantrum” is very common.

We have parents that often report that every time they say “No”, their child will: scream, drop to the floor, and bang their head.

Often the word “No” has been paired with being denied something so many times that just hearing this word will produce a tantrum.

When that pattern is seen: “No” indicates to a child that a worsening condition is about to occur. Leading to a TANTRUM.

HOW NOT TO SAY “NO”:


1. Say what you want your child to do

    Instead of telling Johnny, “No, don’t climb on the table!” 

    Present it in the positive, “Johnny, feet on the floor”.

     

2. Combine this with a distraction or redirections

    Remove Johnny from the table in a firm, calm manner. 

    Refocus the child’s attention:”Let’s play blocks” or cars, ball, chase, etc.

    WARNING: Be aware if your child is attempting to gain your attention with this problem behavior.

    – The removal from the table gives attention, which is just what he wants! (Remember the pig from the previous post?)

    You will want to re-direct away from the problem

    Wait a brief period to gain compliance and then engage in attention giving.

     

3. Offer limited choices –

    Don’t just give into your child’s demands. 

    If the child wanted a different cup than what was offered, offer the same item or state that “we can put it away.”

    A tantrum may still occur but this does not mean you handled the situation badly.

    If your child wants more control in choice making, next time offer a choice between cups before the problem behavior occurs.

     

We do not mean to imply that you should never say no.

You must also teach what you expect of your child. Just try not to over use “no.”

Providing kind and firm discipline to teach acceptable behavior is the goal.

We can do this without over using the word “NO”.

Reinforcers: Mud, Money, & Motivations

16 Feb

“Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it. ”-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Don’t be afraid of using reinforcement!
Reinforcement is not bribery.

Bribery occurs when items/activities are offered to a child that is engaging in “bad” behavior to get that child to engage in “good” behavior.

Reinforcement is a process in which items/activities are offered to a child after being good to increase the likelihood that those behaviors will continue and occur more often in the future.

We all engage in activities were we receive reinforcement.

Ex: What controls an individual’s behavior for going to work?

Money is serving as the reinforcement for maintaining going to work.

This may be why individuals winning BIG at the lottery quit their jobs. Money no longer serves as a reinforcer for engaging in work behavior.

Tip:

– When trying to establish a new behavior or strengthen a weak behavior in your child, consider what may serve as a reinforcer or be delivered as reinforcement.

– Save that item or activity only for when your child engages in the desired behavior.

– When your child engages in the desired behavior, deliver the reinforcer immediately.

His reinforcer - MUD! He LOVES it!

Nip It In The Bud – Or Be Eaten By The Plant!

6 Feb

How often do you find yourself attending to the “bad” behaviors of your children or students?

It is better to give positive attention to the things our children or students do appropriately, increasing the likelihood that these good and desirable things will increase.

By attending to inappropriate behavior we are far more likely to increase its frequency and intensity

than we are to “nip it in the bud” — We strengthen the very behavior we want to eliminate.

And that behavior will grow to this:

Evil Plant

Evil Plant